As Long As It's Not Life-Threatening

Last November,  I was waiting so patiently for a fertility doctor's appointment and grabbed a random magazine to flip through. I was trying to avoid the numerous pregnant women who seem to unknowingly taunt my barren womb as they approach the receptionist's desk with their glow.  I buried my head in Working Mother and read an article about Samantha Bee.  She is a writer for The Daily Show and author of I Know I Am, But What are You? She's a comedian and mother of three small children.  Really cool chick.  Seems like someone I'd enjoy.  I was extremely intrigued when asked about her parenting style. Here's her response:

   There's no "bad cop" in the household.  We're very laid-back.  We tend to think about things in stark terms. If it's not life-threatening, we let the kids do it. 

Often feeling like the "bad cop", I couldn't believe what I had just read.  My friend and fellow blogger calls it "hard core parenting".  Check her out! Seriously? You just let them do it.  There's no lesson to be taught? What about boundaries? So I go home to discuss this point of view with "good cop" husband.  He agrees with the comedian.
So I decided to give it a try.  I realized how much I was trying to control my daughter's behavior.  And I understood why I was so exhausted at the end of most days.  It's a losing battle.  They are going to be who they are going to be. I have a few friends back in our old neighborhood who seem to have this laissez-faire approach down.  And truthfully, their children are gems.  They are smart and funny and have good manners.  As I began to stop white-knuckling my hold on Peanut's behavior, I realized that she mostly made the right choices.  When she didn't, it wasn't necessary for me to pound the lesson in her brain. She got it.  Most importantly, I enjoyed being a parent even more.  I assume she must have enjoyed her not-nagging-as-much mother too.
I still feel like "bad cop" when I continuously have to remind everyone that it is bath time.  But I see how she deeply enjoys her time with her dad, because he is focused on her and not her behavior. I am learning to choose my parenthood battles and continually tell myself that as long as it's not life-threatening, I guess it's okay. Looks like I still have many lessons to learn too.