Last summer, I was in a fabulous production of "Hair" at Alpine Theatre Project in Whitefish, MT (aka Heaven on Earth). For an opening night gift, Husband and Peanut gave me a bracelet that read "Live in the present". I loved it. So appropriate for that show. Somehow this cherished gift got misplaced in our last move, perhaps along with its message. While Husband and I were going through our taxes, we found the receipt and reminded me of it. This is why I kind of enjoy doing taxes, because it is a walk down memory lane for me. This also why it takes me forever, as I sit and reminisce over fond moments. Back to the story.
I loved last summer. I faced fears and things I thought I'd never do. Hiking mountains, kayaking and public nudity, to name a few. Not at the same time. But it was "Hair" and as a woman who had given birth and was knocking on 40's door, being in my birthday suit became no big deal. People asked if it was freeing. Kinda. But I realized it's just a body and it has been good to me and it was not a sexual thing in any way. It was celebrating all parts of me, from my legs, which I love thanks to years of dancing, to my gut and back fat. It was done so tastefully and so briefly that even a theater critic missed it as she looked down at her program for a moment. I spent most of last summer either outdoors in the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen, or on a stage, my home, my love. I was challenged by my cast mates by hiking and getting reacquainted with my quads again, and by encouraging myself to not filter and judge my instincts as an actor. Husband even directed me in the final production of the summer. He's brilliant. All were equally exhilarating.
I know it sounds like I am living in the past. Actually, thinking about last summer and looking down at those simple but powerful words on my bracelet, remind me of so much. My future is less certain this summer. I will not be acting on a stage as I had hoped. However, I will be back in Montana to play with Peanut while Husband directs and choreographs "She Loves Me." I will be sure to hike and kayak, but will probably abstain from public nudity. So as I cherish my past and look forward to future adventures, I live in the present and love the present. For it is a gift. Each breath, each thought, each laugh, each tear, each hug, each moment. The present is what makes my past wonderful and my future exciting.
I loved last summer. I faced fears and things I thought I'd never do. Hiking mountains, kayaking and public nudity, to name a few. Not at the same time. But it was "Hair" and as a woman who had given birth and was knocking on 40's door, being in my birthday suit became no big deal. People asked if it was freeing. Kinda. But I realized it's just a body and it has been good to me and it was not a sexual thing in any way. It was celebrating all parts of me, from my legs, which I love thanks to years of dancing, to my gut and back fat. It was done so tastefully and so briefly that even a theater critic missed it as she looked down at her program for a moment. I spent most of last summer either outdoors in the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen, or on a stage, my home, my love. I was challenged by my cast mates by hiking and getting reacquainted with my quads again, and by encouraging myself to not filter and judge my instincts as an actor. Husband even directed me in the final production of the summer. He's brilliant. All were equally exhilarating.
I love this post Jen. Thank you for the reminder..
ReplyDeletexo
M
M,
ReplyDeleteYou are certainly a part of those cherished memories. Our child is still dancing daily to A Grand Night for Singing.
Love you,
J