THE GIFT OF FEAR

fear.  a strong and powerful word, often with negative connotations.  I think there's a positive side to fear. I believe fear connected with instinct is a helpful resource for all of us. About 15 years ago, I was a twenty-something who had just moved to NYC by myself.  I found a pretty cheap, very small studio apartment on the Upper West Side.  During my moments of unemployment, I was a loyal watcher of Oprah.  One day her guest was an author named Gavin DeBecker.  He'd written this book called "The Gift of Fear".  I was intrigued.  He spoke about how women especially have been trained to ignore their intuitions.  You know, you are walking down a dark street.  You begin to feel like you are being followed.  Yep. Indeed, a strange guy is right behind you.  He offers to help you carry you heavy groceries.  You say, no thanks.  He doesn't listen.  No really, let me help you.  Oh, okay, you don't want to be rude. Fast forward to him forcing his way into your apartment, holding you at knife point, etc.  All because you suppressed those intuitions/fears that were actually a gift to you to keep you safe.  Be rude.  It could save your life.  Well, I rushed out to buy this book.  I figured it would come in handy in "the big city." I have so often referred back to what this book has taught me.  Listen to yourself.

fear. a stifling response that may keep you from taking risks. I have struggled with fear more these past few months than I have in a very long time.  I have let my fear of heartache, fear of failure, and fear of indirection inform too many of my recent decisions.  Finally, I said "Enough!" First, I accepted a job for which I was not completely qualified, but I was willing to be cheap labor in exchange.  I have found that I am capable of learning many new tasks and skills. I am good at much of what I do, even when I lack experience. I communicate well.  I realized how greatly I have limited myself.  Short changed myself. I am beginning to see a whole new world (cue music from Alladin) for myself.  I am considering choices I never thought attainable.  Next, I began to welcome the heartache.  I let it wash over me, let it teach me, let it strangely comfort me.  It felt good.  Necessary.  Now I can move forward a little at a time.  I no longer want fear to be the reason I make a decision to not do something.

fear. it's your friend and your foe.  Let it teach you, guide you.  And if it tries to keep you from reaching for what you want, give it a swift kick in the ass.

Please visit my fierce friend's blog. Check this out!!!  She truly is not just another Jen. She is a courageous woman, wife and mother who challenges me to think broader and dream bigger.  Recently, she invited me to contribute to her word of the month club.  You just read my first attempt.